BLOG POST
7 things your kid would say if they could
You know those seasons in family life where everything feels a bit harder than usual? When your child's big feelings come out as aggression, anxiety, or behaviours that leave you wondering what to do next?
I see you.
I work with families going through exactly these challenges every day...
And so I also know that during these times, it can be easy to lose sight of what a kid really feels and what they wish we would remember...
Here’s what I think kids would tell us if they could:
1. I need you to protect my right to play
Play is how I process things and work through my big emotions. Please don't let structured activities or academics replace this right now, I need it.
2. I need you to simplify my life
I'm already showing you I can't manage so please don't keep putting more stuff on my plate. It doesn't make me better at managing my frustration, it just makes things harder for me.
3. I need you to compensate for my immaturity
That means setting me up for success and protecting me from places and spaces where I'll hurt others but without blaming me for it.
4. I need strong boundaries but I also need you to move on straight away and connect with me
When you stay mad at me, I feel your resentment, it makes me feel like this whole tricky season is all my fault and I'm too much for you. Can you hold the boundary and move straight into connection with me instead?
5. I need you to let my tears flow
When I'm sad and disappointed and I let those tears out, it actually releases the alarm and frustration that I'm having a hard time with, please just be with me and don't fix it.
6. I need you to remind me that I'll grow out of this
When you always focus on the thing I'm doing wrong, I start to believe this is who I am. I need you to remind me that it's normal for little kids to have a hard time so I know that it's my immaturity and not me at my core.
7. I need you to show me I'm not too much for you
That means being playFUL because I feel that more than your words. The warmth and delight in your playfulness speaks straight to my heart and I can't block it out with my defences.
Tricky seasons can feel hard but deep down your kid is a good kid who is having a tricky time.
I hope that these can guide and remind you during this season what really matters.
You’ve got this.
